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But eventually it can be nice to “introduce” them through stories and photographs.Ĥ5. Meeting new people, who never knew the person who died, can be hard and sad. Grief can make you feel selfish and entitled, and that’s okay (at least for a while).Ĥ4. “It’s normal to feel numb after it happens. The tears will come. Sometimes it gets worse before it gets better.Ĥ2. There is no normal when it comes to grieving.Ĥ1. “The grief process is about not only mourning the loss, but getting to know yourself as a different person.”Ĥ0.

People will tell you what you should and shouldn’t feel, and how you should and shouldn’t grieve. Holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays will be hard forever.ģ8. “You lose yourself, your identity, meaning, purpose, values, your trust”.ģ7. You will see things that remind you of your loved one all over the place, and it may lead to sudden outbursts of emotion.ģ6. Big life events and milestones will forever be bittersweet.ģ5. “You grieve your past, present, and future with that person”.ģ4. “It’s sometimes necessary to seek out new ways to grieve on your own, find new guidance if the people who are supposed to be supportive simply haven’t learned how.”ģ3. Trying to protect children from death and the emotions of grief isn’t helpful.ģ2. “The last 24 hours of their lives will replay in your mind”.ģ1. “You should go somewhere to debrief after caregiving”.ģ0. You may find comfort in very unexpected places.Ģ9. “However badly you think it is going to hurt, it’s going to be a million times worse”.Ģ8. We all grieve differently, which can create strain and confusion between family members and friends.Ģ7. Grief can make you question your life, your purpose, and your goals. Grief makes you feel like you are going crazy.Ģ5. “Grief doesn’t come in five neat stages. It’s messy and confusing.”Ģ4. Grief can make you question your faith.Ģ3. “ The pain of a loss is a reflection of love, but you never regret loving as hard as you can.”Ģ2. No matter how much time you had, you’ll always want more”.Ģ1. You will grieve, in some form, forever.ġ8. Death brings out the best and the worst in families, so be prepared.ġ7. People will tell you things that aren’t true about your grief.ġ5. People will say stupid, hurtful things without even realizing it.ġ4. People will bring you food because they don’t know what else to do. Don’t feel bad throwing it away.ġ3. When people offer support, take them up on it.ġ2.

You will plan the funeral while in a haze. If you aren’t happy with the funeral you had, have another memorial service later.ġ1. Death and grief make people uncomfortable, so be prepared for awkward encounters.ġ0. There is always time to step back and take a moment to say goodbye.”ĩ. “There will be pressure from others to move on, even minutes or hours after a death, and this can lead to regrets”.Ĩ. A home death/hospice death is not always a good death.ħ. It’s too real.”ĥ. A hospital death is not always a bad death.Ħ.

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“Dying is not like you see on TV or in the movies. It is not peaceful or prepared. You may not have a spiritual or meaningful moment.

You can plan for death, but death does not always comply with our wishes or plans.Ĥ. No matter how prepared you think you are for a death, you can never be fully prepared for the loss and the grief.Ģ. If you finish this post and you’re annoyed about all the things we forgot, leave a comment to keep the list going! I wish someone had told me…ġ. So, with your help, that is what we have today: a quick and dirty list of the things we wish we had known about grief before we knew anything about grief. If it’s in quotes, it’s something one of our fabulous readers shared with us on Twitter or Facebook.

#WILD WONDERFUL OFF GRID ERIN JANE INSTAGRAM HOW TO#

So, we think back to the basics. Not the theory stuff, not the ideas about how to cope… just the really basic things that people never tell you about grief. We think about grief a lot around here… We write about types of grief, grief theory, personal reflections, creative expression for coping with grief, practical ideas for managing grief, and on and on and on. But there are some days that all that seems like a lot to take in. Is this Normal?, Grief Articles for Beginners, 64 Things, Lists, Unique Nature of Grief

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